Marry me~

i first heard this song from one of the wedding videos i got a chance to watch during my free time. I fell in love to it right away.



now, this song is added to my wedding songs list! :)

i'm getting there..

yes.. i'm getting there. getting better. getting back to sanity. and i am happy about that.
all it takes is FAITH. yes friends, faith in our Lord.
let me share with you what happened.

when i posted my last blog entry. i really never knew where to go and who to turn to.
my anxiety is reaching its peak and i literally felt that i was going crazy!
i went to the doctor to check what's up with me. but before that, i prayed. prayed. and prayed.
i told God that whatever the doctor would tell me would be His message to me.
i held on to that. when i was already inside the clinic, face to face with the doctor, i told him what i feel about myself. the doctor's smile actually comforted me and shomehow decreased my anxiety.
After the doctor checked me, he found nothing wrong except with muscle tightness on one side of my neck.
he gave me medications and i can really tell that he was confident about his evaluation.

On that very moment, as i walked out from the doctor's office, i felt vindicated.
i remembered what i told God earlier, that whatever the doctor's gonna tell me, that will be His message to me. I held on to that and I believed that. I believed that God told me that there's nothing wrong and that there's nothing to be worried about. Again, I held on to that and still holding on to that and keep believing on that.  God is faithful to His promises. Until now  i can say that peace already settled on me with God's grace and through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  I thank the Lord for this gift and I will forever be thankful  for that.

Father Saint Augustine is true to his words when he said, "My heart is restless, until it rests in You."
Yes God, my heart, my mind, my sould and my spirit are restless... until they rest in YOU.
Amen.

such a worrywart-scaredycat

i hate it! i just hate it.
i hate this feeling. i hate being scared... of everything.
of ever detail that is not known to me.
i hate the thought of being sick.
i hate the thought of being alone.
i hate the thought of losing someone that is so dear to me.
i hate them because they scares me. so much.
and this fear gets really debilitating now.
i don't know who and where to turn to.
helpless!

..i don't know what's up with me.
help.

anticipation

If only I could make the time run faster, I would. 
And I will be more than happier to do that just to see you again.
To hold your hands and see you smile is my delight.
To embrace you and feel your warmth is my joy.
To kiss you and be kissed by you is heaven.
Two long weeks I have to endure.
As you took my heart when you traveled.
Fourteen long days I will wait.
Patiently and still, 'til you come home.
Yes, I will wait for my heaven to come home.

Booked!

Yeah! I'm so happy! God is really good! I and hubby-to-be already have our Church and venue booked for our wedding! :) I actually prayed for the specific Church and venue that they are both available on our chosen wedding date - and they are! We are finally reserved in St. Jerome Emiliani and Sta. Susana Parish Church beside Alabang Town Center:

and in Monte de Portofino in Portofino Heights along Daang Hari. :)

Now that we have our Church and venue, we can stop for now and relax! Worrying will resume next month as we scout for caterers and other possible suppliers. I'm sooooo excited! Thank You Lord God! :)

Reunited.. and it feels so good..

Today marks his first day in our office, I hope he'll enjoy whatever lies ahead of his career here.
Yes, for the second time around, my man is again my officemate. How cool is that.
Same team. Same capability. But different reporting bosses, of course.

And another difference is that he was my boyfriend before and he is my fiance NOW.

I know there'll be lots of hoolas that might come out that it's not ideal to have us both in a workplace.
It's fine. We respect their opinions and it's completely fine. We both understand that and we both know how to work on that.

As for now, we're reunited again as colleagues.. and it still feels so good... :)

He heard my prayer... and He answered.

I was very restless for the past few weeks.
I was unfocused. I can't think clearly. I can't even sleep very well.
I was anxious. I was in doubt. I was worried.
And the worst part.. My faith wandered.

Until I can't hold on to the feeling anymore, I decided to speak to God.
I remembered how He loved me even before I was born and how patient He is to wait for me to call Him.. to speak to Him.  At that point of my life, I recalled the days when all I wanted and all I needed was Him... And that very moment, I wished that I can still bring that part of my life now where I am still His faithful and obedient child.. then I heard God speak to me..

I found myself inside the Chapel.  I wondered how many weeks had passed my life without me speaking to God sincerely. I asked God to forgive me for all my transgressions and shortcomings. I asked Him to heal me. I asked Him to give me His peace. And I whispered to Him one of my biggest prayers and I believed that I already received it. I walked out of the Chapel feeling relieved... experiencing peace.. like a hurting child being embraced and comforted by his mother. How I love the feeling. I was in cloud 9.

In less than 24 hours, I received the answer to my prayer.
God listened to my prayer. He heard it and He gave it to me.
I can't contain my gratefulness and my soul can't express how much I'm thankful to my Father... for welcoming me for the nth time, for healing me and for answering my prayer.

Indeed, Lord, You are more than enough for me.

Amen.

i'm going home!

it's exactly 1.5 hours to go and i'm done with my work today! very excited to check out from the hotel and go back home in Manila. My luggage is already full of shirts, small elephant tokens, shawls and other India souvenirs to give away for my family. But what i am most excited of is seeing my fiance again, going to bridal fairs together and preparing for our wedding next year!

Buh-bye and thanks India! Manila, here i come!

By the way, my first ever bridal fair registration is now confirmed...

sorry guys, it's my first time to attend such event so I apologize for my over excitement :)
..okay got to go. my 15-minute meeting is now in progress. After this, i am FREEEEEEEE... :)